161

Yes, she's down a whole lousy two pounds.
Her weight has been going up and down all week, her weak ass self going through stages of fasting and binging. :P
But tomorrow is a new day and she has to try and convince herself that she will be in the 140's by New Years.

Today she got a kick up the ass. Her and her class went to see Romeo & Juliet be performed in this small, hole-in the wall theatre. It was fantastic and she usually would've have been in a reasonably good mood for the rest of the day, but there was another school there as well. An all boys school, and her school is an all girl school. Can you see where she's going with this?

Basically, the less mortifying versions is, there was a guy there who she kinda fancied. He obviously didn't feel the same way as he was eyeing her much skinnier, blond friend, . The rest of the day was spent criticizing everything about her physical appearance, which wasn't helped by the fact that she's fifteen and still hasn't been kissed.

Hopefully, this will give her the motivation to get her act together or else she's going to end up as an old spinster with twenty-seven cats.

She's allergic to cats.

Replies to comments:
Anafly: She's fifteen. Yay for puberty. She just went into design, edit and then into backgrounds and there you go ^_^ Not exactly a stellar explanation but it's all she's got.

PerfectingMyEmptiness: Yes, you'll be literally across the channel from her ^_^ God help you :L

Mich: Did she ever tell you that you remind her of Luna Lovegood? You're just that awesome ^_^ She's pretty sure you're the only one who likes her talking in third-person :)

xoxo, E

163

Yes, the witch is back :)
And still incredibly fat :(
But that will change.
Hopefully. Definitely. Maybe.

On the other hand, Junior Cert year is already freaking the crap out of her and does anyone else find that talking in third person is a bit nutso? ^_^

Eh, why not? It's not like she's the most mentally stable person around.

Today, the day she finally got to use the computer without her parents hovering over her shoulder, is the day her ego got an extreme boost.

16 Followers? Really? You guys are awesome ^_^
It's nice to know that someone is listening to her insane rambles.

And the comments, Oi, gevald!
(why is she speaking Yiddish???)

Angels, all of you :D Makes her wonder why all the nice, caring, wonderful people (i.e. you guys) are the ones who go through hell :(

Thank you, Mich, S., aletha, Samzi, Sam Lupin, kes_ana, kittymewmew2, meg goodman, parisienne.love, Cordelia. , little miss unknown, missinsanity., Starving Artist
, Ruby LoveBird, AkArY & K-, zero.

Seriously, she wouldn't know what to do without you guys,
xoxo E

Bad To The Bone

I've been a horrendous blogger, and for that I apologise.

I've been stuck in hell for the past four weeks, I'm ashamed to admit I had a bit of a breakdown.

There was binging, and cutting and a brief episode where I took to many sleeping pills with quite a bit of scotch.

I'm a weak fucker. :(

Long story short, I was committed into hospital for four weeks, listening to people tell me how selfish I was, and how horrible I am for putting my parents through this and that I was just a little attention whore. (they didn't say the whore part, mother did)

Now I am finally free after bullshitting my way through countless therapy sessions and lying to pretty much everyone I have had contact with in the last month. I'm trying to catch up on all of your blogs as quickly as possible, but the parental unit is watching my every move. I'm typing this in an internet cafe.

I miss you all so much,
much love x.

Melodramatic, me? Never ;)

Hi

Yeah, she's a bad blogger, but in fairness it is really hard to find free internet in Russia :P

So here's a recap for her angels :)



Youth Hostel, Moscow. This is where she sleeps :D




Moscow Metro. Her main source of transport.




Moscow Cathedral. This is where her and Nicolas (French boy she met at the hostel) drink vodka until they can't see straight. When in Rome...:D




Red Square, Moscow. Where she walks until her feet bleed O_O




Didn't believe her, did yah? :P




Russia at Night. Who needs Paris?

So, story time my dear readers :)

The parental unit started world war 3 last Saturday night. Their fights are quite common occurrences but this one got out of hand. Mother threatening suicide, Father threatening to call the police, doors slamming, glass breaking and her, hiding like a coward upstairs. A few hours later, cousin J called and told me he had an extra ticket to Russia since a friend backed out and would my parents let me tag along instead.

Needles to say, she loves cousin J. :)

Things were still tense at home, so instead of risking a backlash from her parents, she just kind of stole her passport and left. Without them knowing. Yeah, not very responsible Evelyn.

Thing is though, she and J have emailed home a couple of times to the younger cousins and none of them have mentioned her disappearance. They didn't even know she was with J until she told them.

So that means either her parents haven't noticed her gone, or their letting their pride get in the way and instead are keeping up appearances.

Both are quite likely.

Love,
Evelyn

Mayakovskaya Metro, Moscow.

k

For My Girls

169

There was a binge.
Chips(fries), bread, egg fried rice and curry sauce.

She made it two days without eating anything, managing to get get down to 166. She was aiming for a third day of only liquids, unfortunately the universe has a sick sense of humour and her parents ordered take-out. She already lost the battle before it began.

So no food until Monday, only liquids.

In other news, nagging about her junior cert has already started. She has two months before going back to school and the whole 'you-better-do-well-because-if-you-don't-you-are-not-our-daughter' speech has already been mentioned twice in the past three days. She has to stop herself from saying 'who would want to be your daughter?'. It would only cause more trouble and she already had enough to deal with.

Random thought: eurovision is insane, but very entertaining.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hco0bR_mfzo&feature=related

p.s.
She has a habit of calling people sweetheart or darlin, something to due with growing up watching too many westerns. And thank you very much for the support and nice comments, it means the worlds to her to know that someone's reading this blog and going through similar stuff :D

168

Honest to god, she couldn't deal with this.

No fifteen year old should have to witness their father drink so much that he can't stand up by himself. No fifteen year old should have to listen to her mother threatening to commit suicide.

It seemed every time she ate, something bad happened.

The solution?

Don't eat.

169

5:45am, couldn't sleep. She felt guilty, incredibly so.

Last night she ate dinner.

And chocolate.

375g of chocolate.

Honestly, she stopped enjoying the taste by the second bar. She just couldn't stop, shoving it into her mouth like an animal. Like the pig she really is.



And so she continues to walk.

At least no ones here to witness her walk of shame.

171

She jumped every time the telephone rang, hope swelling up in her chest making it difficult to breath. Though soon as the receiver was picked up and revealed to be anyone but him, she found it difficult to breathe for an entirely different reason.

They haven't even kissed yet and she was already attached to the boy. She couldn't help it, he made her laugh, she forgot about her worries as soon as he called, except now he became one of her worries as he hasn't called.

He hasn't got in contact with her in over two weeks.

Maybe she scared him off.

A calls that night to inform her that he asked her out. A wanted her blessing to say yes.

She hangs up and unplugs the phone, and yeah, maybe she forgets to eat.

It's not like she couldn't do with losing a few more pounds.